


Seizing Control

by dramaticinsanity



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Cockblocking, Dirk is Sulking, I think?, Jealousy, Loads of pining, M/M, Season 2 Episode 3, Stream of Consciousness, Todd mentally swearing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, implied blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 06:08:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramaticinsanity/pseuds/dramaticinsanity
Summary: Todd tries to figure out what’s going on with Dirk, while Dirk falls apart, and they both want to acknowledge their feelings, but of course it can’t be that simple. Except maybe it really is that easy. (What if Tina didn’t walk in right away AU)





	Seizing Control

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this in one night because kill me. Let mistakes be known, please please.

_The boy… I have to find the boy_

_“I have no idea.”_

_“I forgot how annoying you are…”_

Dirk Gently wriggled against the sheet, and his nose scrunched up. Above, he heard Todd huff in his sleep, as though sensing Dirk’s mood.

_Pararibulitis, he has that now. My fault? Random fate of the universe? Why did he have to suffer this way? It seems like karma, but I feel as though Todd has more than made up for it, or at the very least he will in the future._

He sighs and rolls over. Then he rolls over again. Dreadful mattress must have a pea under it.

_Unfortunately, some things just are. Maybe the disease isn’t connected to me in anyway… But if Todd and I hadn’t met… would he?_

Dirk is on his back now. He crosses his arms and tucks his chin against his chest. His eyes squeeze tightly shut, but he can’t push out the image of Todd writhing on the ground in agony. He dreads seeing it happen for real. He hopes Todd is able to keep on the medication. He hopes Todd won’t blame him.

_No I mustn’t think it. Of course he wouldn’t fault me, and we’re both better for this arrangement, are we not? We were meant to be, Todd and Dirk, Dirk and Todd. Brotzman and Gently, even. Todd’s perfect. A great assistant and best friend…_

His eyelids peel away quickly, and he bites his lip.

_Some small part of me wishes we were something else, too. That part grows bigger every day._

Todd moans softly in his sleep. Dirk’s eyes widen further. Is he having a nightmare? Is it about pararibulitis? There’s a soft groan. Then, the mattress above is squeaking a little. Curiosity getting the better of him, he slides out of bed. He carefully peeks over at Todd. For a moment, he is frozen and unsure of what he’s seeing. Todd is cupping his groin and humping into his palm. Dirk watches still as Todd chews on his lip and tosses his head to the side.

_Is he awake? Is he aware? OH no I’m observing him self-pleasuring in his sleep, like an actual pervert. I need to stop now!_

Suddenly, Todd opens his eyes and peers down. He pulls his hand away hesitantly. His pants are clearly tented, and Dirk bites down a gasp. He tenses, but he can’t remember how to move a muscle. Luckily, Todd hasn’t looked over yet. Instead, Todd throws an arm over his eyes.

“What am I doing?” Todd murmurs, “Not a good place. Farah would never let me hear the end of it… and Dirk… oh god what would Dirk even think…”

Meanwhile, Dirk retreats as Todd trails off. His face is so heated. He’s mildly horrified to note that he’s also half-hard. There’s no way that, like Todd, he wants to even attempt to relieve it with other people within earshot. The idea of Todd hearing him… doing that activity… his face heats up even more, and his cock twitches.

_Oh, how red I must be. Would Todd laugh if he saw or be sympathetic? Todd would surely be disturbed that I was watching him almost masturbate. It’s an activity I’ve not found much time or appeal for myself, but watching Todd, however short the incident, was an experience._

_I wonder what it would be like to watch Todd really go at it… wanking madly for Dirk to watch._

Dirk settles carefully on his bed, awkwardly, careful to not make a sound or even breathe loudly. He has no idea if Todd is still awake, and he doesn’t want to embarrass him.

_Sounds like Todd would be ashamed if we knew. But who was he thinking of? What he said… Did that mean he was thinking of Farah?_

He buries his face in the pillow and suppresses a groan. His erection has not retreated, which is problematic for his ability to sleep. The last thing he needs is to obtain a stain from pre-come, or worse, to have a sexy dream and come in his sleep.

_He couldn’t possibly fancy_ me _. Surely he’s just worried that I would think he was getting distracted from the goal, or that I would feel like a third wheel. I would of course but… I wouldn’t prevent Todd’s happiness with her._

_She’s a wonderful person, and he deserves to be happy, no matter how he thinks otherwise._

The thought of Todd and Farah, and high probability of Todd not being remotely romantically interested in Dirk is what does it. His cock seems to collapse as though sighing in annoyance. Finally, he drops off.

 

 

Todd wakes up, barely. And he’s greeted by Dirk and his mouth. Not Dirk kissing him, like in his dream, unfortunately. It was against the wall, all hungry and biting and tongue. He nearly shivers, but he manages to contain his lust trying to break the surface.

_Too early for Dirk’s rambling, too early for lustful thoughts. Can I get a break here?_

_Hah. Rockstar Hippie style sounds like it would suit Dirk. I hope. This could be interesting._

He predictably misses the keys. He is far from a awake, and far too distracted by thoughts about Dirk dressing up, only for Todd to promptly undress him again. He should take time to reconsider his priorities… but as his assistant and best friend isn’t Dirk his priority?

_Well, now I’m making it sound rude. I should focus on the case instead of bedding my friend._

Once he’s properly woken up, Todd is filled in a rush with excitement and anticipation. The new case could go sideways quickly, but he isn’t worried too much with Dirk and Farah by his side. He’s by their side too, to support them. They all support and look after each other. Todd panics when he hears footsteps while he’s dressing. His fluttering heart settles down when it’s just Farah. She’s incredible, but his heart is undeniably set on Dirk. Besides, he doesn’t think he would have a chance in hell with her.

_As if my chances with Dirk are any better? He’s less likely to punch me in the nose at any rate._

As tantalizing as it would be, Dirk seeing him pantsless, it’s too soon for that. It may not be as extreme as being in the nude, but he hardly needs the image in his head of Dirk looking at his ass in boxers. He’s partially worried that he wouldn’t be impressed, and partially hopeful that he would be extremely impressed.

_I’d like to see Dirk in his underwear. I wonder what he wears… I shouldn’t assume anything because he’d look great in whatever. Maybe he goes commando, for all I know. I might get a nosebleed if I continue this train of thought… Boring sex… Pararibulitis… electrocution… That’s better._

Soon, he, Farah, and Hobbs are poking around at a Tree-Skeleton. It’s odd and curious and Dirk is nowhere to be found.

_Why is Dirk being so strange? Is it because of the case, or related to me somehow?_

Todd resists the urge to run a hand over his face, when he sees Dirk give him a thumbs up. Not long after that, Dirk startles himself into nearly getting a concussion. Todd stoops down to examine him, absentmindedly running a thumb from the end of one eyebrow to the end of the other. He’s just checking for a bump.

_What an idiot. Such an adorable idiot. Only Dirk be frightened into getting knocked out. I want to cover him head to toe in safety padding._

Dirk groans and his eyes flutter open. Todd freezes, his hand in the air. He was a mere moment from being caught by Dirk doing something borderline intimate. He quickly gets to his feet, almost tripping over nothing. Dirk sits up slowly and Todd helps him the rest of the way. For a moment, it almost seems like Dirk is leaning on his shoulder. Then he comes back to himself and jerks away, just before Todd gives in to the urge to lean back. But Farah gives him a look with a raised eyebrow that he doesn’t appreciate. She doesn’t say a word, but her expression speaks volumes.

_She’s probably wondering when we'll get our act together, stop being idiots, etcetera. I really don’t need this._

And they deal with Bart. And they talk to her. Undoubtedly she has an important part in the grand scheme, showing up here like this. But Todd is wary at the moment and stores all the information for later examination. He doesn’t know what to make of it yet.

_Shapes? What on earth? Better to just go with it at this point. What a crazy world we live in, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything, not anymore. Hmm… so much blood. This worries me a little. If she even looks at the Dirk the wrong way, I swear we’re gonna have a problem._

Todd fights the urge to glance at Dirk, not wanting to give away too much of his unease in front of Bart. He tries to block her view as much as possible. He comes to the decision not to say anything much or ask anymore questions, more questions just stem from asking them. He stares quietly, heart beating marginally faster than normal. Dirk pipes in from the back, and heat fills his stomach.

_True, she hasn’t actually killed him, the attempt notwithstanding. But, maybe I should keep an eye on her, not let her get to close or leave the two of them alone. I don’t know when I got so protective, but I’m not planning on letting that little hitch be known to Dirk._

He stands still, tense, not allowing the strong emotions swirling in him to show.

_Best friends? As if. She isn’t even in the realm!_

Worry hits him.

_Maybe it doesn’t really take much. He was pretty chummy with Hobbs._

He leaves his mental space and focuses on Hobbs questioning Bart. He doesn’t really care too much. He’s making mental notes for things that might come up later, but beyond that he’s distracted by his concern for Dirk.

_Trying to take control of her life… That sounded familiar. Where have I heard that before? Did Dirk say it to me? It seems like something he would say._

Todd nearly stops the continuous worry in the back of his mind, as Dirk starts to engage again. First participating in the questioning of Bart, then when they ask the same question, at the same time, “Who is she?” referring the mysterious shape conjurer. With Dirk seeming interested again, he has a swell of happiness.

But it’s short lived, and he resists the urge to drop his head to his palms several more times as events proceed. Dirk has to go and give him a near heart attack, with that zombie-like man attacking him.

_Why does he wander off? I should invest in getting him a leash. He wouldn’t appreciate that though. And people might think we’re… it has kink implications and that definitely doesn’t need to be displayed publicly, even if it’s not true._

Thank god, he held onto the brass knuckles. Or someone would have ended up shot for sure, and it could have been anyone. It could have been Dirk. He crushes the image of Dirk, laying on the ground, bleeding from a gunshot wound, but it’s too late and the idea is already there. At least he’s around, and his forethought for the knuckles. The universe seems to have done him a favor for once, or Hobbs is just that incompetent.

Definitely incompetent and not even close to living up to his namesake, and they argue about it, Dirk sulking in the background. Todd, despite the yelling, can practically feel the aura. Then, Dirk shocks him further by flipping out. It’s harsh and unbelievable.

_What the hell was that outburst for? Hobbs was going along with it well, I think. I’m not quite sure whether to feel satisfied or unsettled, considering the parallels. Perhaps they aren’t getting along that well after all._

Todd reassures Hobbs, his mind racing. He can’t settle on what could be going on with Dirk.

_Dirk is being… what’s the British term for it? Stroppy?_

Todd follows Dirk’s form with his gaze.  He pretends it’s because he’s worried, but truthfully Dirk looks damn hot in that shirt. It fits him perfectly. God, they’re so close, in the doorway, and those clothes were doing Dirk so many favors. It’s more amazing then he had imagined. He wants to run his hands, up and down, from his shoulders to his hips. He wants to bite that plump lower lip.

Todd gives an internal shake. He should focus. Especially before things really spiral out of control. Control… There’s that word again.

_Focus, Brotzman. Dirk probably isn’t going to paint a picture for me._

Dirk’s moods are so off. He had been excited, eager before. Todd doesn’t fall for Dirk’s poor attempt at blaming his attitude on the body slamming incident. He had been weird all damn day. He is itching to get to the bottom of it. He is itching for another kind of bottom, but that’s to be examined at a later date. Literally.

“I.. I am… I was but…”

_But what? But what Dirk? Goddamnit! Just talk to me._

He stays quiet, listening closely. He desperately hopes Dirk will elaborate, but naturally, he has to go and confuse Todd further. This is going to be a long day.

_Why did he ask that? What’s my pararibulitis got to do with anything? What the fuck. What the fuuuuck. Then again… maybe that’s the problem. “Exactly” he said. So strange. Wish he would calm down if I kissed him senseless, but that’s liable to make it worse. I kind of wanted to slap him a little bit, and that wouldn’t help either._

In any case, it can’t be Todd’s pararibulitis alone that’s getting under his skin. There’s an underlying problem that Todd can’t quite see or reach, but he needs to find out, and soon.

He doesn’t have any firm idea what to do. He isn’t going to give up, no matter Dirk’s attempts to confuse him. The mention of the pararibulitis rises to the front. It was unexpected, as he had seemed alright before, after the announcement. He had hoped for more of a reaction at the time, to be honest. He was ultimately glad that Dirk didn’t make it a big deal, except now it seems he did without speaking it. Todd hadn’t realized it was bothering Dirk in any way.

_Currently, I want to throw that bell out a window. Investigating and following the whims of the universe takes time, damnit. Especially when Dirk is bound to unintentionally sabotage the case at this rate. If that’s even possible._

Undoubtedly, he needs to confront Dirk, so he does exactly that. Todd finds him sulking, unsurprisingly.

_Why can’t he just talk to me? I hope Dirk can open up to me, because it would make life so much easier._

_Pink hair? Dirk? We’ve dealt with weirder! What the fuck is he on about now. All over the place today. God help me._

“Why did you ask why I had pararibulitis?”

Not straight to the point exactly, but it’s a good place to start.

_Why does he have to lean like that? Damn that shirt. Thank the universe for that shirt._

Dirk tilts his head in a way that gives Todd an optimal view of his neck and collarbone. The urge to kiss and bite hits him, and he swallows thickly as his member takes interest.

_Oh not again. Focus Todd! Be a lust driven teenager when Dirk is less troubled. This could not be more inappropriate timing._

He watches Dirk’s face closely, and not just because he wants to kiss those lovingly sculpted lips so badly. He is also concerned about Dirk’s state of mind.

It reminds him, somewhat, of himself, in the beginning. And that’s incredibly worrisome. He should be excited, he had every right to be. He had to suffer through Blackwing but found his way back to Todd and Farah, where he belongs. Todd doesn’t want to hold him, exactly, because physical contact still isn’t his favorite thing. He wishes he could offer some form of comfort.

_Better? Calmer? For himself or for Farah and I? All of us?_ He would like better and calmer too, but he’s also come to enjoy wild and unpredictable and exciting. _I thought he lived for this insane excitement shit. I have certainly adapted to it, and I’m willing to throw all my cards in for Dirk’s sake… we are a team now._

Todd smiles slightly during Dirk’s speech, enraptured.  It’s chaos that brought them together, and he wishes the chaos would bring them together, in another way. He’s happy with this, though. Best friend is the greatest thing Dirk has given to his life, and he’ll accept the form it takes.

_I want to kiss him so badly though. I want the taste of Dirk’s mouth to sweep me away, and maybe the chaos can wait on us for once._

He grapples for how to respond, what comfort he can give.

 

 

Dirk regrets ever telling Todd, even not truly meaning it, that he’s demoted. Todd is the best friend he could ask for. Todd listens to him intently, not interrupting, utter perfection.

_I wish we could kiss. Then the crashing, uncontrolled waves of the universe could sweep past us. I want to get lost in Todd for a little while. I had hoped if things were calmer, not as frantic and violent and murdery, Todd might look at me and consider._

_Todd might be able to take a moment and consider what else he and I could be, aside from best friends. That is fantastic, but I can’t help but hope for something else too. Something that could begin with a simple kiss, that’s all I ask._

Unfortunately, things just are. And those things may not want he and Todd to be together in that way, and there’s nothing he can do to change it. He’ll have to follow the tide and look away from the horizon of possibilities.

Todd steps forward, and Dirk’s heart is racing. He’s not quite sure if it’s the content of the conversation or Todd’s closeness. Perhaps it’s both, simple explanation.

_Not a pawn? What am I then? I think Todd would be a knight, and Farah a Bishop. I don’t know where I belong. I must be a King then, stuck only going in limited directions, and not very far in them. Just like my relationship with Todd._

Dirk can’t look away from Todd’s intense, bright eyes. _They’re so beautiful. If I leaned forward just a bit, our lips would meet. Or Todd would jerk back from me, and I would fall forward. Todd would think I was mental._

Fate is the designed determination of the events that will eventually transpire in a person’s life. Chance is a random occurrence not brought on by anything in particular, it just happens. They seem very different to Dirk, and both transpire against him of late. Neither of them want him to kiss Todd, he knows it. At least they have that in common. Todd doesn’t seem to have the same opinion.

_And what does he know anyway? If Todd kissed me right now, would it be fate or chance? I don’t know if it is simply a random manifested possibility, Todd having those feelings for him, or if it was always meant to be. I could try to kiss Todd, but the universe won’t let me, will it?_

Dirk realizes distantly that he will never know, if he does not try. He wants to try. But he can’t lose Todd. A real best friend would forgive him, yet he would not blame Todd for wanting to distance himself.

_There’s been no indication whatsoever of his romantic or sexual interests. He could be pining for Farah for all I know or, though unlikely, even Bart or Tina or Hobbs. I am wishing at the moment that I really could be that kind of psychic, if only for a minute._

Todd continues, not giving up on him. It warms his heart, and the warmth spreads through his body like wildfire. Confidence and hope may be within his grasp again, even as Todd feels simultaneously closer and farther away.

His imitation of Dirk’s accent is terrible, but at the same time utterly adorable.

_Kiss him, Dirk. Just kiss him now, before it’s too late. This case will become a roller coaster, and you’ll both be swept up in it. There may not be another chance any time soon. Something could go horribly wrong. I don’t want to live in a world anymore where I don’t know what it’s like to snog Todd Brotzman._

Dirk scratches the back of his head. Todd is brushing off the attempt at the accent. The content of the sentence had struck Dirk right in the abdomen. Those were his words, his words turned back on him. It’s not a coincidence, and Todd remembered.

He will take control, right bloody now. He inhales, takes a couple steps forward, and exhales. Their eyes lock, and between the small space, the same thought passes. Todd reaches out and touches Dirk’s hand, which has settled back on the cabinet.

It’s warm and perfect and everything. Todd cocks his head to the side every so slightly, and it’s all the invitation and encouragement he needs. There’s a smile barely tugging at the edge of Todd’s lips, as though he’s reading Dirk’s mind.

Dirk shoves down his uncertainty and leans forward. His bottom lip meets Todd’s top lip, and he tugs at the flesh with a resounding, wet smack.

_Oh he did it! He kissed Todd, and Todd kissed him, and it was amazing._

Dirk’s stomach flutters. _Are Todd’s eyes even brighter than they were before? Lovely._ They grin like fools and dive right back in.

 

 

Tina discovers them eventually, pawing at each other. Dirk’s arms are wrapped around Todd, his fly open. Meanwhile, Todd is ravishing his neck, and a love bite is already blooming on his collarbone. They’re both panting noticeably. She averts her eyes, but their blurry forms are visible in the periphery.

_What a development. Who would be surprised that these two were wild for each other? I’m sure not, even a blind person would have sensed it!_

Todd sneaks his hand around to cup Dirk’s ass firmly. Dirk gasps and nuzzles him shyly. Tina can't hold in a snicker at the scene they make. It's a testament to their obliviousness that the enamored pair fail to notice.

_I shouldn’t let this go on much longer, no matter how hot. I’ve been around, but I’m no voyeur. At this rate, Todd will just take Dirk on the floor, or vice versa. I can’t tell who would take that initiative, between these two. Probably be a mutual decision._

Todd starts to lower himself to his knees, and Dirk’s eyes widen. “Todd, I. you don’t... ha-aah!”

_I definitely don’t need to know why he’s made that sound. Sadly, boys, you’ve got work to do, and even if I waited around for you, somebody else is bound to get impatient. But how should I do this?_

_Oh, that’s definitely movement. I would feel bad if their timing wasn’t the worst. Or rather, pink-haired guy’s timing is bad for them. You’re going to have to impress Dirk with your oral skills another time Todd._

Tina smirks, and backs out of the room, clapping her hands as loud as possible. They yelp and presumably pull apart. She peeks around cautiously, and she sees Todd glancing around the room wildly, before his eyes settle on her and widen. She smirks even more, and his ears get red. Dirk avoids eye contact entirely.

_I’m glad that’s been settled anyway. Todd and Dirk’s tension was palpable in a borderline cliche manner, and men tend be so ridiculous about their feelings. Too bad the sexual half for them will have to wait who knows how long, with all these unusual occurrences going on._

Farah raises an eyebrow at the hickey immediately, and she has a slightly surprised expression. _She might just be shocked they actually pulled it together and made out._ Tina gives her a look like ‘knew it all along’ followed by one expressing that ‘finally we are free’, which causes Farah to laugh lightly. This is all to Dirk’s embarrassment, though Todd puts up a good front.

_Poor Farah, though, I suppose. No doubt those two will be honeymoon phasing it up, case or no case. Someone should offer her some distraction..._


End file.
